Saturday, December 7, 2013

I'm talking Crap!







Too often you don't realize what you have until it's gone. 

...you're too stubborn to say, 'Sorry, I was wrong' 

you hurt the ones closest to your hearts, 
and you let the most foolish things tear you apart... 
Finally you learn to let go... That's expected of you! And once you've mastered the act of letting go you fall into the trap repeatedly, each time you let go! 

There are times when you feel out of place. As if the world’s end is inching closer to gulp you down, swallow you in flesh and bone. All you see around is people talking, laughing about things alien to you. Each of their expression and the thrill with which they gel along comes as a mockery on the limited time you've spent all your life on stuff they’re boasting about! It’s jarring. It’s suffocating. It leaves you flabbergasted. Still you endure. You let go! 

Each eye you look in reflects to you finer beauty than you are. Every face you glance around appears the most beautifully sculpted. Every person you meet happens to have some story to spin. And there you stand amongst them all hollow and lacking charm. With attributes of fewer interests to the world you’re around. You feel helpless. And Helplessness is such a rotten feeling. There's nothing you can do about it. Being helpless is like being paralyzed. It's sickness. The cure calls for a monumental effort to stand up and start walking somewhere, anywhere. But that takes a lot of time, and again an act of letting go! 


And surprisingly you still discover the nerve to you set out on a search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more approving of who you are. One who tells you it isn't a crime being the way you have been throughout. 


Your arms grope forward to find those that can guide you when your tears block your vision in darkness. So you couldn't run away from yourself any more. So that you can confess how terribly miserable you have been feeling with the way the world is. And it instills a terror in you. 

You yearn to feel those strong arms around you to help you not tremble. Turned from the rest of the world only to be safe and protected in that embrace. To be yourself. All you make an effort is to whimper like a small animal in a trap, pushing yourself closer to him and saying in a choked voice, "I'm so frightened!"

"I know, my love," the voice would say. "I'm so sorry you were hurt."

And you would feel yourself being pulled up to him, his grip around you tight. It would be a strange feeling in that dark world around you, where not even the light of the moon cast any illumination. 

And in that searing jiffy, ALL you wish to be whispered to you is… 

"My love, there is no need to fear now. I shall protect you from those who are condescending to you. I shall keep you comfortable, and warm. I’ll be your companion. I’ll make you feel special, different from others. 

And most importantly, I’ll not let your entire life become an act of letting go!!

Just stay around me, and come what may, I’ll stay around you!!”




16 comments:

  1. Just brilliant Nooreen ! Just amazing ! Just so sooooooooooperrrrrrrr !!!!!!!!!!!! This is THE best blog post so far.....i'm reading it thrice over :) You took so long to write again...we were all waiting.....

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    1. Thank you Saumya! Glad to see yours is the first comment :-) Sorry to make all of you wait so long!

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  2. Awesome stuff from Nooreen Fatima ,once again....Boy ! you're such a talented writer....what are you doing to yourself....be a full time writer yaar....i'm sure the ones who made you feel left out are reading this and they'd better realise what gem of a person you are ! muaah girl...cheer up :)

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  3. Welcome back Nooreen.Where've you been ? Forget the post,we all really missed you buddy.You should write more these days.We are all free these days and so you have a huge chunk of potential readers waiting to post comments on your blog.Aaah ! and about this post,well,,,i can totally relate to what you wrote.Has happened with me too often and i do the same that you did...let go of it ! this too shall pass :) cheerio girl :)

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    1. Hi Nimit! Hope you guys are doing great! Good to connect with all of you here. Makes me feel so warmed. And yes, this too shall pass! :-) Thanks.

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  4. This is an excellent post Nooreen.I like it very much.

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  5. Very well written Madam. I am sure you will find what you are looking for very soon.

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  6. A story bereft of attachment yet is so central to each of our lives ! These fleeting moments do tell a story,and you just wrote one.Absolutely wonderful !

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    1. Gratitude Sir!!! :-) I'm glad you were able to connect with it!

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  7. Its just that person thats all we ever need, that one person who tells us, "believe in urself coz i believe in u" commendable work.....

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    1. Oh my my! Thanks sir! Coming from you, its a great compliment!

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  8. Wowww didi.,,,,you write so well :) god bless you didi...

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